I do get asked this frequently, and I have an email template for first time inquires that I use every time:
“I’m afraid I don’t do extended family sessions — I have found that in order to capture the real moments I love to photograph, sticking with the intimacy of the immediate family is best. “
In most cases, that’s 100 percent true. My goal is to tell the story of this chapter of your life right now, and I do that by helping you relax as much as possible into living the truest moments of your life – as it really is. With a few exceptions, there are no aunts, uncles, cousins or grandparents involved in this part of your story.
There are exceptions, of course. If a new baby has just entered the scene, and if mom and dad are really lucky, there might be a grandparent or two in the house helping to ease the transition. Totally part of the story. Or if Uncle Joe takes care of little Billy every Tuesday and Thursday and we’re telling a Tuesday afternoon story, of course Uncle Joe will be part of that story. What we’re NOT doing is organizing a Saturday in July for several nuclear families to come together, coordinating multiple conflicting nap times, personalities and attitudes about what a photo session is about, all while arguing about what color t-shirt we should all agree to wear.
So yes – it’s easy to give that answer to first time inquires and that “extended family” email template has served me well.
But.
Sometimes a repeat family asks me whether we could possibly do the same magic with other close family members who are not part of the immediate family.
There’s no email template for these inquiries. Since they’re repeat families, these families already know the vibe – and the goal – of a session with me. They have already considered (or they will once we chat) whether adding the proposed family member(s) will affect the comfort level (or stress level!) of the primary players. Have these proposed participants seen photos from past sessions? Will they slide right into playing a board game in the kitchen or reading a favorite book on the big chair? OR will they show up in a suit and tie and try to hush the kiddos who are super riled up to see me and excited to play? Will they stand behind me and yell for the kids to look at me and say cheeeeeeese?
Or …. might something like this happen?
So. You get the idea. If setting up an extended family session is an idea swimming around in your head and you’re a repeat family, let’s talk. There’s certainly no question that there’s magic to be made in the right circumstances, and that memories of relationships with special family members will be treasured forever.
Also – of course, just like we do during sessions with immediate family — we’ll do a few “smushes”. We’ll get the whole group together in one spot for a natural-feeling group shot.
At the end of the day, I’m not trying to be picky or difficult or exclusive or lazy when I discourage extended family sessions. My policies are all about alignment — making sure that we all want the same thing and that we are set up to achieve our common goals. Those goals? Still summed up best by song lyric I quote everywhere:
“Wherever time may take you
in your life
remember this was beautiful.”
~The Pat McGuire Band
Thanks for looking,
~Jaye
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Jaye McLaughlin is an award-winning newborn and family photographer serving Westchester, NYC and beyond since 2010.
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